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How Long Will It Take Me to Get Over My Ex

Some people can get over a breakup in one week. While for others it can take, months, years and sometimes decades. It all depends on how your relationship was, how your life was, and how you handle the breakup.

Different minds have different speed and different ways of handling a loss. Unfortunately, most of the time it’s not very effective.

It can depend on a lot of things. How was your relationship with your ex? How long you were together? What type of breakup you had? How much were you committed to each other? How was your life before you met your ex? And most important of all, how do you deal with loss.

How was your relationship with your ex?

Were you two good together? Or you were fighting most of the time? Were you in an abusive relationship? Were you just a passing affair?

The fact that you broke up meant your relationship with your ex was broken. It doesn’t mean that either one of you was at fault, it just means you two were not compatible with each other.

If you think you two were good together, chances are you don’t realize what was wrong with the relationship. It’s possible that you might want to get back together. It’s also possible that you realize it has ended and you move on to the next relationship better than this one.

If you were in an abusive relationship, it will be easier for you to realize that you deserve better. Getting out of an abusive relationship feels like a breath of fresh air. But the mind still plays it’s tricks as there is still a loss of someone close to you and you still have to deal with it.

How long were you together?

The longer you were together, usually the longer it takes to get over the breakup. If you have been together for only a year or two, it might not be that much hard when compared to being together for 25 years.

The longer you were together, the more you lost your identity as a single person. If you were together for a long time, the hardest part would be to reestablish yourself as an individual, not in the eyes of the world but in your own eyes.

What type of breakup you had?

Did your ex cheat on you? Did you have a big fight? Or did you breakup amicably?

What happened during the breakup is something that takes up a lot of thought space in your mind after the breakup. If the breakup was a sudden fight or an act of infidelity, then your mind will keep working on the minute details about the breakup until it finally realizes that whatever happened during the breakup was not as important as what happened during the relationship.

How was your life before you met your ex?

This has a direct relation with how you handle breakups. Chances are, if you were a happy person before the relationship, it will be easier for you to go back to that happiness after the breakup.

A lot of times, people get into a relationship to avoid facing the pain and issues inside them. And when the relationship ends, they are again left to face that pain. If that’s you, then it might take a while to get over the breakup, but in the end it will be worth it.

How do you deal with loss?

The way you deal with loss is definitely the most important factor when it comes to the speed of recovery. Some people take everything personally and blame themselves constantly for what happened. On the other end of the spectrum, people just blame everything on their ex and build up resentment inside them. Some people just blame everything on the nature of the opposite sex which eventually leads to the doom of their next relationship.

Even though everyone goes through the grief period, what matters is how you come out of it. If you come out the other side with resentment, hate, or self-pity in your heart, then you are not really over the breakup. On the other hand, if you deal with the loss without blame and looking at things the way they really are, you are probably going to do recover a lot faster and in a healthy way.



cheating_exTo be honest, if you cheated, then getting your ex girlfriend back is completely dependent on one thing and one thing only. We will talk about that later in this article, but first let’s talk about a few important things.

Why You Cheated?

Were you unhappy in the relationship with your ex? Was it just a one-time mistake? Or you had been sneaking behind her back for a long time and you got caught?

You have to be completely honest with yourself about why you cheated. In my experience, there could be 3 reasons for cheating.

1. It was one time mistake.

You got drunk, you got horny and you made a mistake. You realized you made a mistake and you either confessed or she found out herself. Regardless, she does not want to forgive you and you regret making the mistake.

If that’s the case, then you still have a pretty good chance of getting her back. Since it was just a one-time mistake, you just have to follow the instructions in this guide and hopefully she will come back to you. Of course, there is still a chance that she won’t take you back and you have to accept that.

2. You are a serial cheater. 

37194965You two had a perfectly good relationship but still you decided to cheat on her. In fact, you have been cheating on her for a long time and she found out recently. If that’s the case, then you really need some soul searching before getting back together. Maybe you are the type of person who needs to sleep with a lot of women to be happy. Maybe you have some issues. Wouldn’t it be better to solve your issues and understand yourself before jumping into a relationship? I am not asking you to change. Far from it. I am asking you to accept yourself for who you are. Perhaps, monogamy is not for you.

Listen, you can probably follow this guide and get her back, but that does not mean you will be in a happy relationship with her. You might end up hurting her again. If you really love her, it’s better to let her go, unless you are absolutely sure you will not cheat on her again.

3. You were unhappy in the relationship and wanted something more

Then there is the type of cheating where you were just unhappy with her and you decided instead of working on the relationship problems (or breaking up with her), you will just go and do the deed with the hot girl from the bar.

Listen, I understand that relationships and monogamy is hard and the novelty of an affair is tempting. But if you chose to have an affair instead of working on your problems, then perhaps it’s for the best that the relationship ended.

Of course, you still have a chance of getting your ex girlfriend back, but remember that you will have to work a lot rebuild the trust in your relationship (along with the problems in the relationship that were making you unhappy).Do you think your relationship with her will be strong enough to handle the stress that comes after an affair?

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back After You Cheated On Her

Now, I said in the starting of this article that getting back together after cheating depends on one thing and one thing only. And that one thing is her level of investment in the relationship.

Most girls will end a relationship instantly when they find out the guy cheated. However, if they are heavily invested in the relationship (time, expectations, kids) they will consider giving you another chance PROVIDED they see a hope that they can trust you again.

She needs to see a glimmer of hope that you will never betray her again and she can trust you again. If so, then she will probably give you another chance.

How can you make her see that there is hope and there is still a solid chance of the relationship working?

First of all, it doesn’t happen right away. You have to give her enough time and space to work her emotions. And you have to work on yourself as well. Basically, you follow Step 2 and Step 3 of this guide diligently. You will have to follow no contact for a while. However, since you cheated, you should always answer her calls when and if she calls. When you answer her calls, you should treat her as an acquaintance you are in good terms with. Don’t get too personal and don’t talk about your feelings. Be amicable and respectful, but don’t make any of the mistakes listed in Step 1 of the article.

After Getting Back Together

What is the point of getting back together with her if you two constantly keep fighting because she doesn’t trust you anymore? If you want to get back together, then you better be prepared to face the aftermath of reconciliation. You will have to work really hard to rebuild the trust in your relationship again.

Since you are the one who cheated, you will have to give up your privacy for a while. You will have to be OK with her checking up on you and reading your private messages. I know this behavior is usually considered needy but this is a special case. You cheated on her and she is giving you another chance. If you want her to trust you again, you will have to be OK with it till the time she can trust you again.

High School - A Place Where Hearts Get Broken.

High School – A Place Where Hearts Get Broken.

If you are in high school and you ask someone how to get your ex girlfriend back, they will probably tell you that you are too young to understand love and you should learn to move on. They will tell you that you are a teenager and there is a lot you need to experience before you can find the person you want to spend your life with.

Well, they are probably right, but that does not make your feelings for your ex girlfriend any less intense. That does not really make you feel any better about the fact that your ex girlfriend is no longer with you. In this guide, I will give you a few tips that are going to help you get her back even though you are in high school.

A Complete Step By Step Plan

Before we begin, I want you to read this article on how to win your ex girlfriend back, which is a complete step by step guide with everything you need to know about the subject. This guide is probably the most detailed and comprehensive FREE guide on the Internet. I will give you some great tips in this article, but for a complete step by step guide, read this article.

 Why Your Ex Girlfriend Broke Up With You

You and your ex were having a great time together. She was amazing and you were madly in love. You thought she will always be yours and nothing will ever be able to separate you two. But suddenly, things started to fall apart. She broke up with you for some reason. Whatever the reason was, it shattered your dream of having the perfect relationship with this girl. You were supposed to be together forever but now she seems to be moving on. (Note: If you broke up with her, read How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If YOU Broke Up With Her)

You can’t imagine her with someone else. You still love her from all your heart and you will do anything to have her back. You can’t concentrate on anything because all you do is think about her. Whenever you see her, you get this feeling in your stomach that makes you feel like you can’t live without her.

high_School_gossipOK Romeo, here is the fact. Even though this pain might feel like love, it’s actually just a normal reaction to breakup. This is how our brains and our body react to losing someone special to us. Your ex girlfriend was special to you, no doubt about that. But it does not necessarily mean she was right for you.

The fact is she broke up, and she is still young. She is going to date other guys. And that’s OK. The truth is, people hardly ever end up with the one they date in high school. I know there are a lot of cases of high school sweethearts ending up getting married. But those are rare. And you have to accept that reality.

That being said, there is a chance that you will get her back and become one of those rare high school sweethearts.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back in High School.

The basic principles of getting her back are the same as mentioned in the main guide to win your ex girlfriend back. However, since you are in high school, you will face a little difficulty during the no contact period(Step 2 of the guide). Here are a few tips to consider that will increase your chances.

1. If you are in the same class, apply the no contact rule as stated in the guide. Do not talk to her unless it’s absolutely necessary. Even if she comes to talk to you, stay calm and treat her like she is an acquaintance you are in good terms with.

2. Concentrate on yourself and do things that you enjoy. Participate in extra curricular activities and meet new girls. Start hanging out with more girls and make friends with them. Your ex will soon find out that you are making new friends and will probably get jealous.

3. Remember to not do anything that might show your ex that you are still obsessed about her and want to be with her. Read the first step of this article for more details on this.

4. If you and your ex have common friends, it’s time to stay away from them for a while. It might be hard, but you can always make new friends and find new people to hang out with. I am not saying you should break friendship with them, all I am saying that you should stay away till the time you are comfortable talking about your ex and hanging out with her. (Till no contact period ends)

5.Do not participate in the high school gossip. People will talk about you two breaking up. Don’t let it affect you and don’t participate in the discussion.

The key to getting her back, even in high school is to focus on yourself. The basics of attraction remain the same no matter if you are teenager or in your fifties. If you work on yourself and become a confident and attractive person, a person who is happy with himself, she will come back to you.  Again, read this article, for more detailed step by step guide to win her back.


It’s one thing when your girlfriend dumps you and you feel like you want her back. It’s an entirely different story when you dump her and you realize you have made the biggest mistake of your life. This article is meant specifically for guys who regret breaking up with their girlfriends and want her back.bad decisoin

Note: This article is a supplement article to the main guide on how to get your ex girlfriend back. If you haven’t read it already, read it. It’s the best free resource on the Internet for getting your ex girlfriend back.

The Reason You Broke Up

OK, you just realized that breaking up with her was a big mistake. You want her back in y our life but it seems that she has moved on and there is no way she will agree to give you another chance. Well, the good news is you have a chance (a pretty good one at that) to get your ex girlfriend back even if you broke up with her; but before we continue, there is something that you should think about.

What was the reason you broke up in the first place? If she is so great, and she is so amazing, why did you decide to end the relationship? Were you not happy with her? What guarantee you have that you will not feel the same again and break up with her again?

happy couple

Do you really see yourself in a long and happy relationship with this girl?

If there is even the slightest possibility that once you get her back, you will have the same problem as before, then you are better off trying to move on. More importantly, if this girl is not right for you, you should leave her alone. She will be much happier in her life if she moves on and finds someone who is right for her. What is the point of seducing her, getting her back in your life, making her fall in love with you and then again breaking her heart?

Not only that, is it worth it putting yourself through everything again? The fact is you had this girl once in your life and you let her go. If you had been truly happy with her and you knew she was the perfect girl for you, you wouldn’t have broken up. Why bother trying to get her back only to realize that she is not the perfect girl for you.

Could it be Just Panic?

Here is a very common scenario.

You break up with your girlfriend (for very legitimate reasons). She begs you not to do it. She pleads and tells you that she loves you. You say you don’t want to be with her and it’s best that you both move on. She continues calling you and texting you. You try to ignore her but you still talk to her and you know that she will be with you if you just say the word.

Then one day, she stops calling. She doesn’t text as much anymore. When you call her, you don’t hear the desperation in her voice anymore. You can feel that she is trying to move on. Then suddenly, she doesn’t pick up your calls either. In fact, she tells you that she has decided to move on and she thinks that breakup was the right thing to do.

breakup panic

You never really thought you will also have to go through the breakup pain. And now that you are, you are mistaking it for love.

Your mind starts to panic. By now, you can’t remember the reason you decided to breakup with her in the first place. Even if you do remember, you convince yourself that it’s not a big deal and you can fix it. You can’t remember any of her bad qualities. The only thing you can think about is how much wonderful, amazing and beautiful she was. You only concentrate on her good qualities. You are panicking. You are realizing that you are going to lose her forever. You start thinking that breaking up was a mistake. You want to get her back before she moves on.

This scenario is actually your mind panicking. Earlier, even though you broke up with her, you never really lost her. You never really let her go. She was still holding on to you and she was still not over you. And knowing she wasn’t over you made you feel comfortable. Even though you broke up with her, you still had her. But now, that she is slipping away from your grip, you are coming to the horrible realization that she is moving on. This made your brain panic and you started going through the phases of grief that everyone goes through after a breakup.

If the above situations rings true with you, then I want you to know that this feeling you have right now is not going to last. It’s just a phase of grief and it will pass. However, if you decide to reconcile during this phase, you will soon realize that it was a mistake and again break up. So, instead of rushing into things, just wait till this feeling of panic subsides and you can see things more clearly.

The Best Way To Get Her Back If You Broke With Her

Now, once you’ve decided that you want to get her back because you sincerely believe that both of you can have a long and happy relationship together, then you should go ahead and try to reconcile.

If you are reading this article, then I suppose you’ve already tried talking to her and she is not interested in getting back together. This DOES NOT MEAN that she has moved on. However, it does mean that she is in the process of moving on and she will not get back with you unless she finds a good enough reason to do so.

The best thing to do right now will be to start the no contact rule. Don’t contact her for a few days. Basically, you want to follow everything mentioned in this article. Stay away from her for a while; work on yourself; and then start the re-attraction process.

Getting back together if you broke up with her is no different than the other way around. The only thing you need to think about is whether or not you want her back for the right reason.


Alright, I know it sucks that your ex girlfriend is already dating someone else. I know just imagining the girl you love in someone else’s arm is infuriating. But I want you know that there is still hope. And if you want your ex girlfriend back even though she has another boyfriend, you have to start looking at things from a more neutral perspective.

A Complete Guide

Before we start analyzing your situation, have you read my complete guide on how to get your ex girlfriend back? If not, go to this page and read it now. It will give you a thorough idea of what you should and what you shouldn’t do. It will give you a plan that you can follow. Then you can come back later to this article for advice that is more tailored to your situation.

So Your Girlfriend Is With Someone Else

another boyfriend

Antagonizing the new guy is not going to help.

OK, I know that right now, you just want her to come back to you as soon as possible. But that’s not going to happen. In fact, if she comes back to you this instant, then she will probably leave you again after a while. Since, you are reading this, I take it that you want your girlfriend for more than just one night. I am assuming that you want a long fruitful relationship with her. And if you want that, she should come back to you knowing that you are the best option for her. Not just because she is confused about her emotions.

Leave Her Alone and Concentrate On Yourself

The first thing you need to do is leave your girlfriend alone for a while. AKA, the no-contact rule. Don’t contact her for a month. Here is a few questions that might creep into your mind when I say this.

“What if she falls in love with this new guy? I don’t want to lose her forever.”

She won’t. This guy, is a rebound. And almost all of the rebound relationships end up in a breakup. I know it’s a little hard to accept considering the off chance that this one does work out. But it’s a really small risk you’ve to take. And the reward of this risk is getting her back in your life.

Exception: There is one exception to this case. If you and your girlfriend had been dating for a very short time (like a month or two weeks). In this case, since your relationship wasn’t very strong in the first place, she is not technically with a rebound guy. She just went from one short term relationship to another. In this case, I’d generally recommend you to move on from this short term relationship. However, if you really think she is someone special, then you can make the no-contact rule for just one or two weeks and carry on with the rest of the plan.

“If I stay away from her, she will forget me completely”

Again, she won’t. In fact, the more you stay away from her, the more she will miss you. I know she is with someone else, and you might think like she is just busy having fun with this guy to even remember you. But it’s not the case. She is actually quite confused in her mind all the time and even though she might be trying to forget you, this rebound relationship is not giving her the time to actually work through her emotions and move on. You are still in the back of her mind. And pretty soon, when you contact her, you will be in the front of her mind.

“I can’t stand the thought of my ex being with this guy for a month. I have to take action right now.”

clock is ticking

You might feel like the time is running out, but in reality you have a lot more time than you think.

OK, I know it’s a gut wrenching feeling. But you have to deal with it. In fact, it’s a good way to learn the nature of relationships. Every relationship ends. Either one of you will leave the other one. Or one of you will die. But, all the relationships end. I know it’s a hard fact to accept, but it’s the truth. The relationship with your ex has ended. And now she is in a relationship with someone else. Soon, her new relationship will end she will be in a new relationship, probably with you and hopefully for a very long time.

Analyzing the Breakup

Just like in the guide, you must analyze why you guys broke up and whether or not it’s really a good idea to get your ex girlfriend back. There are a few points that I would like you to consider before moving on to the next step

  • Were you really happy in the relationship? Did you have your freedom? Did you trust each other? Did you enjoy with each other? A good relationship is based on trust and respect. Do you think if you two get back together, you can build a relationship with strong foundation?
  • Did she have communication problems? Did she decide to just leave because she was not satisfied or she discussed her problems with you? Whatever the reason she left, you can fix that and get her back. But the next time she has a problem, will she run away again or will she try to work on the relationship?
  • confusedAre you just infatuated? I have to ask you this. Is she the type of girl who is superhot, intelligent, and everything about her is just perfect? Then chances are, you are just struck with one of those infamous arrows of Mr. Cupid. If you just think that there is no one out there like her, then you are wrong. Before you decide to get her back, go out in the dating world and meet a few more those seemingly perfect girls. There is a good chance that you will find someone better. If not, then you can go ahead and try to get her back.

The Idea of Stealing Her from Her New Boyfriend

Now, in most cases, the rebound relationship will end before the no-contact period is over. But, in case they don’t. You’ll have to steal her from this new guy. Of course, you are never going to ask her directly to breakup with the new boyfriend to be with you (not until you are 100% sure she will say yes). But you have to build attraction with her while she is still with him.

I know it sounds a like a dick move, by stealing someone’s girlfriend. But look at it this way, you are 100% sure she will be more happy with you than she will be with him. You know you will treat her better than him. So why not do it? On the other hand, if you are planning to be a shitty boyfriend and treating her with disrespect, then you should just let her be with her new boyfriend and get some counseling.

The Contact

OK, generally I recommend to start with a hand written letter and then move on to texts after a few weeks. However, in this case, I’d recommend to directly move on to texts. Because of two reasons.

1. Text are more personal and chances of her new boyfriend finding out about these texts are less. Even if he does, it works to your advantage. We’ll get to that later.

2. You should wait at least a few weeks to contact her with text after you send the letter. In this case, we are saving a little bit of time by not sending the letter.

Note: If you really messed it up after breakup, then I guess an apology is in order and a letter would be a good idea. And I mean REALLY mess it up. Begging, crying, stalking, abusing, drunk calling, showing outside her house holding a stereo over your head type mess it up.

What to Say in Texts?

I’ve covered this in my guide on getting her back. But I will go over a few things that you must keep in mind.

Your goal is to build attraction using texts. That means no negative talk. Nothing about the breakup or the relationship. You want her to know that you are glad she was a part of your life and that you want her to be your friend again.

friendzonedNow, while texting, she might bring up her new relationship. She might complain about her new boyfriend. Or she might ask your opinion about something. DO NOT BECOME HER ADVISOR. If you do, you will end up being friendzoned and before you know it, she will always be discussing her relationship problems with you.

Now, you have to use this other guy’s mistakes as your advantage. Texting is perfect because you are in contact with her and he will have no idea. At the same time, if he does find out, they will definitely have a fight about because he will be invading her privacy.

Since this is a rebound relationship, a few fights should be enough to break them off. However, if they persist, she will soon breakup with him after you guys meetup.

Meeting Her

It is absolutely necessary that you don’t ask her out on a date. You don’t want her to feel she is cheating on her boyfriend. So, make sure you are just asking her to “catch up” or go for a coffee”. Make her laugh, have fun, show her how much you’ve changed for the better, show her the new you and she will definitely start wondering whether she is in a relationship with the wrong guy.

There are a few things you should remember while with her.

  • Never talk about her boyfriend. If she brings him up (which she probably won’t), change the topic casually.
  • Don’t ask her to leave her boyfriend. At least not until you are 100% sure she wants to be with you.
  • Do not try to sleep with her. You don’t want her to think that you are only interested in sex. Let her know that you want a real relationship and for that, she will have to commit. (Unless you just want sex, and she is up for cheating. In which case, to each his own)

Usually, during this process, she will decide to leave her new boyfriend and come back to you. But if she doesn’t you have to ask her about it some time. That’s because being friends with her while she stays with her new boyfriend is not good for your emotional and mental health.

After you have spent enough time with her and she still haven’t made a decision, you have to be upfront about your intentions and tell her what you want. You will have to ask her to choose between you and him. Tell her that you can’t be friends with her if she chooses to be with him because it’s too hard for you. I know it’s a tough thing to do, but if you did everything right till now, then I am pretty sure she is going to choose you.


I know it sucks and I know you feel like that there is nothing more important in your life than getting your ex girlfriend back. I have been in your shoes and that’s why I’ve written this guide to get you through this difficult time. But before we begin, you should know there is no guarantee that you will get your ex girlfriend back. We will however, increase your chances by tenfolds.

ex girlfriend back

You probably feel like you’d do anything to get your ex girlfriend back, don’t you?

Let me tell you a little about myself. After my breakup, I read tons of books on breakups, female and male psychology and getting your ex back. And I’ve been helping people with breakups for the past two years. This guide is an accumulation of two years of experience in helping people with breakups. It will tell you literally everything you need to know about getting your girlfriend back. You will have the knowledge and a plan that you need to TAKE ACTION on. If even after reading this, you insist on sticking to your old ways, then no one can help you. You have to follow what this article says and you will not only become a more confident and attractive man for your ex girlfriend, you will also discover yourself along the way.

To make it easy I have divided this guide into four steps. Each step is crucial and you must go through each step and be confident enough before moving on to the next one.

What you will learn in this guide

– A step by step plan to get her back

– A look into your relationship and why you broke up

– A look into yourself and why you are not attractive to her anymore

– A look into your future and what you want from your dating life

– A view on life and relationship that will keep her around forever

I know you want to get your ex girlfriend back fast and end the pain instantly. I know you wish there was a magic button you can press that will make your ex girlfriend come back in your arms right away. But it isn’t so. It’s a challenge. And you have to work through it. You have to man up and go through the pain and emotions and work to get her back. I can only guide you. But you will have to face your fears, your pain, your emotions, your jealousy, your guilt, your anger, and everything else you will feel during this process. In the end, you just have to remember that you must stay strong. You have to stop yourself from becoming the needy, desperate, sorry excuse for a man that you were when your girlfriend left you.

OK, all that might have been a little harsh, but it is the truth. At least in most of the cases. One of the reasons girls leave is because somewhere along the lines, their boyfriends stop being a man for them. They become somewhat needy and desperate. I know it might not necessarily be your case and we will go through the reasons in step 3. Right now, just understand that everything will not be over in a second and you will have to work and possibly go through a lot of pain to get her back.

Step 1 – Stop Making These Obvious Mistakes

The first step of this plan is a list of deadly horrible mistakes that will push your ex girlfriend (and possibly every other female) a mile away. But the worst part is, these mistakes are almost like a natural reaction after a breakup. Every inch of your body will tell you to do these mistakes and to the broken heart, these look like the logical thing to do.

BUT IT’S NOT. Even if you have done these mistakes already, you have to stop instantly. Whatever damage you might’ve done till now can still be repaired if you just stop doing them right now. Alright? OK, let’s move to these mistakes

1. Calling and Texting Your Ex

calling your ex

“Hey, I just wanted to ask how are you?” TRANSLATION  -“Hey, I miss you and can’t live without you. Can you come back?”

You always want to call your ex and text them telling them how much you love them. It’s not attractive and to be honest, after a while it becomes very irritating for your ex. You don’t want them to think of you as someone who just calls them constantly despite them telling you not to do it anymore. You just have to understand that no good can come from calling your ex. At least not right after the breakup. She needs her space and so do you. Breakup leaves you with a lot of emotions and thoughts to process. Trying to get her to call you back, or just constantly asking what she is doing is only going to make you look desperate in her eyes.

2. Begging Her to Come Back

beggingI don’t know why, but it’s the most common advice that people give to guys who want their ex girlfriend back. Somehow, people think that girls like guys begging to be with them. Not true. Especially so after a breakup. Girls actually hate guys who beg them to be with them. Why? Well, begging shows desperation. And desperation is not attractive.

Besides, begging her is not going to work since you two are not in a relationship anymore. If you were, and you had done some terrible mistake, you could’ve begged for her forgiveness. But this isn’t the same situation after a breakup. If she has already decided to leave you, then begging will not change her mind. In fact, it’s only going to make her think that her decision to leave you was the right one.

3. Agreeing To All Her Conditions

I knew this guy who was ready to leave his job, his career, and move to another city and join college just to be with his ex. What do you think happened to him? She said no. In fact, she told him that “you are not right for me, and I want to find someone else who is more suitable for me.”agreeing to your ex

If you are agreeing to everything your ex says, then you are just showing how much desperate you are to be with her. Moreover, you are showing to her, that your life, your career, your ambition and your values mean nothing in front of her. As romantic as it may sound, it’s actually quite the opposite. Nobody wants a person who doesn’t have any ambition, any goals, any values, or any boundaries in his life. No girl wants a slave who would do anything for her. They all want a king.

4. Telling Her How Much You Love Her

i love you

“Maybe if I carve it on the tree outside her house, she will believe me.” – The creepy ex boyfriend

Let me make it easier for you. She already knows that you love her. If she left you for the reason that “you don’t love her anymore”, then you can rest assured that bombarding her with “i love you texts” will not convince her. In fact, no romantic gesture (even the non-creepy ones) right now will make her believe that you love her. It’s only going to make you look desperate to be with her. She is going to assume that you just want what you can’t have and everything you do is because of your narcissistic personality.

So, there is no point in telling her how much you love her or how much you miss her, or how much you can’t live without her. Simply because it’s not going to help you in anyway. There is a time to say all those things but it’s not now. Trust me. I’ve been there.

5. Freaking Out When She Dates Someone Else

Well, you two broke up. So she has all the right in the world to go out with other guys. I know how much it hurts to imagine her in someone else’s arms, but that’s life. And you have to deal with the pain.

When my girlfriend started dating someone after the breakup, it felt like someone stabbed me in the heart. But, in the end, the relationship ended and we got back together. The same thing happened to thousands of guys that I’ve helped over the years. (If you want to read more about what to do in this situation, Read: How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Even If She Has Another Boyfriend)

The fact is, her new relationship is a rebound relationship. And it’s not going to last. In fact, almost 90% of the rebound relationships end pretty soon. She is in a relationship because leaving you left a huge hole in her life and she is trying to fill it with someone else. Of course, she will soon realize that jumping into another relationship is not going to fill that hole and she will end the relationship again.

scumbag rebound

I know the guy she is dating is a scumbag. But there is no point in telling her. Let her realize it on her own.

The only thing you need to be careful about is to not freak out when you find out. Don’t call her. Don’t call her new boyfriend. Don’t do something stupid that you will regret later. I know it’s painful but you have to deal with the pain without making a fool of yourself. In fact, if you ever see both of them together, you should act cool.  That’s the only thing you can do that will increase your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back. If you try to tell her that he is wrong for her, you are just going to make her want to date that guy for even longer.

Note: I know that for many guys it’s a lot harder to deal with when you find out your ex is sleeping with someone else, especially if you are in love with her. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it other than accept it. Look at this way, she slept with other guys before you and she will sleep with other guys after you. However, her having sex with someone is not as big a deal as you make it in your mind. It didn’t bother you if she had sex before she met you, so why should it bother you if she has sex with someone after she broke up with you? I know it’s easier said than done but try to not let this bother you.

6. Getting Stuck In the Friend zone

friendzonedThis happens to a lot of guys after a breakup. They think if they become friends with their ex girlfriends and listen to all her problems, she will eventually get attracted to you again and want to come back. Again, it’s a really really bad decision. You don’t want to be left in the friend zone. You will be stuck hearing her complain about the guys she dates while you are feeling miserable inside. Being in friend zone with an ex you are in love with is a terrible idea and you should not fall into that. You have to be friendly with her and you will at one point ask her to be friends again, but make sure you don’t become her sexless friend.

OK. So that wraps up the first step. If you’ve already made all these mistakes, don’t fret. The damage done can still be controlled. All you have to do is follow the rest of the steps carefully, and without making any mistake. It’s going to get a lot harder because here comes no-contact.

Step 2 – No Contact

This step is simple, but it’s not easy. In fact, it might be the hardest thing you’ll have to do since you broke up. You just don’t contact her. Whatever happens, just don’t contact her. You feel like just telling her that you miss her, don’t contact her. You feel like just asking her how she is doing, don’t contact her. You feel like asking her the recipe of that delicious pancakes she used to make, DON’T CONTACT HER.

no contact rule

Your phone can be your biggest enemy at this time. Don’t give in to the temptation.

Why are we stopping contact with her? For three main reasons.

1. So you don’t seem desperate and needy anymore. Every time you contact her, she makes herself believe that you are miserable without her and can’t live without her (and rightfully so). Even if you act all nonchalant and cool, she will still think like this.

2. It will give her time to miss you. In fact, if you stop contacting her, I can almost guarantee that she will contact you after a while. She is going to miss you after the breakup. It’s the nature of breakup. And it’s also going to make her doubt her decision of breaking up. If you keep calling her, you will never let her miss you enough to doubt her decision.

3. The third and the most important reason for no contact is you. It will give you the space and time to process all the emotions and the thoughts that you are left after the breakup. Let’s be honest, if you are anything like me, then you are a mess right now. And you have to give yourself time to pull yourself together and become that attractive man again that she fell in love with the first time. And it’s not going to happen if you are in contact with her. Why? Well, because every time you contact her or she contacts you, you start obsessing over the conversation and the breakup and your relationship with her. And your obsession is so strong that you can’t concentrate on anything else.

You just have to stay no-contact with her till the time you can handle communications with her and still make progress in your life. You have to reach a point where you value your happiness, your life goals, and your mental peace more than her. You have to reach a point where you love yourself more than her.

creepy ex boyfriend

Every time you contact her, you become one step closer to becoming this guy.

So how long should you stay no-contact with her? Well, it depends on two things. How long it takes you to pull yourself together and become a happy and confident guy. And how long it takes her to forget all the negativity of the breakup and start missing you. There is no written rule for it but around 1-2 months is a good start if you had a rough breakup. On the other hand, if you compare the ugliness of the breakup to Mickey Rourke and your creepiness afterwards to Steve Buscemi; then I’ll suggest you stay in no contact for a little while longer.

What if she contacts you during no-contact?

I know it’s hard, but you have to try and not pick up her phone when she calls. If she texts you, then do not reply to her texts. You must do this for at least 30 days. After that, even if you are still in the no-contact period, you can (only if you choose to) pick up her calls. No texting is allowed at all in the no contact period.

If you do choose to pick up her calls, here are a few tips that you can use.

-You must keep the conversation short and polite.

Don’t talk about your feelings, your relationship or the breakup.

-You just have to let her know that you are doing well without her and you are not interested in making the conversation personal. Talk to her like an acquaintance that you are in good terms with.

-It’s a good idea to talk about your common friends and the activities you have been doing.

-Try to keep the conversation less than 15 minutes long.

What if you work together?

You don’t want the breakup to mess with your career. The best way you can apply no-contact in this situation is you don’t talk to her unless it’s absolutely necessary and its work related. You can have a casual “Hello” or “how are you” here and there but try to keep the conversation as less as possible. Also, make sure you don’t let the breakup take a toll on your career. Try to give your best at work and it will only help increase your chances of reconciliation.

What if she is in the same class?

If you are in school or in college and you have to see her everyday in class, you can still apply no-contact. You don’t really have to talk to her in class and you don’t have to talk to her outside class. Just go to your class and hang out with your friends. If you have common friends, stay away from them for a while and make new ones. (Note: If you are still in high school Read: Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If You Are In High School – Tips For Teenagers)

What if you have a child together?

OK, the same rules apply. You can talk to your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife as long as the conversation is strictly related to the child. Be cordial and nice, and always help her whenever she needs it. As long as your communication is related to your child, you are good to go. You will have to obviously see her every once in a while. When you do, make sure you are in a good mood and you look good. Don’t talk about anything personal for a while and soon you will be ready to get her back.

Step 3 – Working On Yourself

32303530This is the part of the plan where you have to learn to take care of yourself without your ex-girlfriend and start being a happy and confident guy; not the needy, desperate imbecile who was ready to do anything just so a girl would accept to be with him. You are going to work on becoming an attractive man, not just to get your ex girlfriend back, but for yourself. Because that’s what you are. Because somewhere along in the relationship, you stopped being attractive to your girlfriend. And now, it’s time for you to take control of your life back and get everything you want.

First of all, you need to understand that you will feel a lot of emotions during this period. You will feel guilt, anger, depression, sadness, loneliness, shock, confusion, denial, fear, jealousy, love and even hate during no-contact. You have to learn to deal with these emotions in a healthy way. Let them come and go. It’s part of a breakup. You just have to make sure that you don’t contact your ex girlfriend during no contact. And you have to take care of yourself mentally, physically and emotionally.

After my breakup, I was such a mess that I had no idea when I was eating, when I was sleeping and what I was doing with my life. I’d literally wake up in the middle of the night with tears in my eyes. Yeah, I admit it. I know it wasn’t the manliest moment of my life. But it happened and I dealt with it. I didn’t call her and told her how miserable I was. And to be honest it all paid off in the end.

Taking Care of Your Physical Self

I know that sometimes, all you want to do is just lay in bed, watching TV or just sit on your couch and play video games all day long. But that’s not going to help you get her back. It will be hard in the starting but you have to go out there and do some physical activity to keep yourself fit. Here are a few things you to keep yourself physically fit.

Go To the Gym

Seriously, get in shape. It’s going to make you more attractive and it’s going to make you happier. Working out releases chemicals that reduces stress and makes you happy. It’s not only good for your physical health, but your mental health as well.

Play Any Sport You Like

When was the last time you played baseball, or basketball or football? If you like playing some sport, then this is a great time for you to get into it. Not only it’s a great work out, it’s also great way to socialize and hang out with your friends. Besides, playing sports is only going to give you attraction points in your ex’s eyes.

Take Care of Your Diet

eat healthy food

Choose a meal of fruits and vegetables instead of a big bowl of ice cream.

Seriously, eat right. Don’t put crap in your body and your body is going to love you for it. If you smoke, then there is no better time to stop smoking. I know smoking gives the illusion of relieving stress, but in reality it’s only making you more stressed. There have been numerous researches on it. And if you do quit smoking, it’s going to show your ex that you are making positive changes in your life and that’s definitely going to make her second guess her decision of breaking up.

Do Yoga, Meditation etc.

Even if you have never tried it before, do yoga and meditation. It’s great for your mental peace and you are going to learn a lot about yourself and your body while doing it. You are going to become more aware about yourself and it’s only going to make you more confident and happy.

Taking Care Of Your Mental and Emotional State

Your mind is at a very fragile state right now. You will be obsessing over your ex and going through a lot of emotions. At this time, it is very important that you take care of your mental and emotional state. Here are a few things that you must do.

1. Do The Things You Enjoy

Do things that relax you and you enjoy. It will take your mind away from your ex and will help you heal from the breakup as well. It could be anything like playing video games or playing the guitar, to building model airplanes.

2. Go Out With Your Friends

Sometimes relationships make us alienated from our friends. This is a great time to catch up with your friends and have some fun with them. Go out with your friends as much as you can and force yourself to socialize even if you don’t want to. It’s hard to obsess over your ex if you are surrounded by people who love and appreciate you.


Remember your buddies? They never broke your heart and made you miserable. Why don’t you give them a call?

3. Go Out On a Date

A fund date will do you more for your confidence than a thousand pushups.

A fund date will do you more for your confidence than a thousand pushups.

Now, I am not asking you to sleep with every girl that comes your way. But try to go out and meet new women. I know dating is a scary territory to wander in. But it can also be an enjoyable experience if you go in with a light heart and without any expectations. Going out on a date is going to help you in many ways.

It will help you realize that you are a fun and attractive guy. This will help you boost your ego and increase your self confidence.

It will help you realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone who is much better than your ex for you. Perhaps, you will realize that you are just putting your ex on a pedestal for no reason.

It’s going to make your ex jealous. Believe me, your ex is trying to figure out what you are upto and they will find out that you are putting yourself out there. Sometimes, jealousy is a powerful motivator for your ex girlfriend to want to come back.

4. Building up Your Self Confidence

You must work on your confidence and self-esteem. Try to highlight your attractive qualities and forget about everything unattractive you have. No one is perfect and we all have to play with the cards we are dealt with. Use your strengths and learn to live with your weakness. Accept yourself for who you are and be proud of it. There is nothing more attractive than a guy who accepts and embrace himself completely. Be that guy.confidence

Confidence is the most attractive trait that a man can have. Girls love a confident guy. Remember, confidence isn’t something that people are born with. It can be learned. For starters, have goals in your life and work towards them. Start working out and be in the best shape of your life. Knowing you are in good shape is going to make you more attractive. Be more aware of yourself, your needs, your desires, your weakness and don’t be ashamed of anything in you. I could write a lot more in this section but I am going to leave it at this, love yourself and everything in you. And soon the entire world will love you.

5. Accepting The Breakup

OK, I know this article is about how to get your ex girlfriend back. But there is something you need to accept right now. The relationship you had with your ex girlfriend is over. You’ve already lost her. You can get her back, but that will be a new relationship.1d8lmv5

Remember, you have nothing to lose, since you have already lost her. Even if she doesn’t come back, you are still going to live a happy and fulfilling life. You DON’T NEED her in your life, YOU WANT HER. If you don’t get what you want, you still carry on with your life with your head held high and a smile on your face.

Analyzing Your Relationship

This is also a great time to analyze your life and your relationship. Wanting to get your ex back is like a knee-jerk reaction after a breakup. But it’s not always a right decision. I know you might feel like she is the one, and you love her with all your heart and you can’t live without her. But all that is just your breakup brain talking. Your breakup brain is a state of mind which will do anything to avoid dealing with the pain of breakup. Well guess what, you get her back or not, you will have to go through this pain. Since there is no way you can avoid this pain, let’s first make sure that you are getting back with her for the right reason.

How was your relationship with her?

Seriously, think about it. If you are just answering that it was great and she was perfect, it’s still your breakup brain talking. Think harder. What was wrong with the relationship? What were the negative qualities of your ex? Is it something you can live with for the rest of your life? Were you really happy in a relationship with her?

You are making a life altering decision over here. For many people this decision is something like this

I don’t know anything. I just know I want her back. I can’t live without her. I just want her to love me and be with me. That’s the only thing I am sure of in my life. Everything else, I will figure out later.

While, that may be a good line in a cheesy romantic movie; it’s not a good reason to rekindle a dead relationship which was making both of you miserable.

Think of the reason why you broke up. Since you two broke up, it must something major and it probably can’t be fixed easily. For the sake of this article, let’s go over some of the common reasons for breakups

1. You had a fight and it lead to a breakup.

Couples fight. But if it leads to a breakup, then there was something wrong with the relationship. Most of the time, girls already decide to breakup and they just use the fight as an excuse to breakup. It could be that she was not happy in the relationship and just couldn’t find a reason for the breakup.

Chances of Getting Her Back.

In this situation, it’s definitely possible to reignite the spark and get her back.

Should You Get Her Back?

However, you must realize that she is someone who has a major communication problem. Either she was not happy with you, or you two had a fight; in either case, she decided to end the relationship instead of talking about it rationally. If you want to have a relationship in the future then you both need to work on your communication skill. If you want to spend your life with this girl, she must learn to communicate her problems and so should you. If you really think she is a person who can accept this and work on her, then you should get back together.

2. She wanted to explore her options

This usually happens with younger girls, just out of school or college. She realizes that she has not discovered herself yet and she should probably break up with her boyfriend and explore a little more. The reason for breakup is pretty clear.

Chances of Getting Her Back

It will be a little hard for you since she is going to go out there and get involved with other guys. However, if you two had a good relationship together, then you still have a pretty solid chance.

Should You Get Her Back?

It’s quite simple. She wants to discover herself. You should let her do it. If she stays in a relationship with you, she is going to have this in the back of her mind for the rest of her life. And she will leave you sooner and later. But if she does go out there, and learn that her life is better with you, she will come back and never leave again. So, yes if she comes back, it’s a good idea to be with her. At least, she is honest about herself and her expectations in life. She might be confused, but she is honest. Although, you should never force this one to come back to you. Let it be her idea.

3. There was no spark in relationship. Dead relationship. She wanted more.

Here is the thing. Girls need to be constantly admired for their beauty and they need to have at least some sort of attraction with their boyfriends. If your relationship went completely stale, she might leave you in search of happiness and excitement.

Chances of Getting Her Back?

Pretty good. Since its just attraction that she has lost, it will be easy to build it up. This guide will work like a charm in this case.

Should You Get Her Back?

Again, there is a communication problem. She could have explained her feelings to you and you both would have worked on this. But instead, she chose to bail. Still, you can give her the benefit of the doubt since she was confused and she probably discussed the problem with her friends. Some girls usually think that attraction is just something they feel and there is nothing you can do about it. And it’s hard to tell your boyfriend that you are not attracted to him anymore without breaking up. So, yes, even though leaving you wasn’t the perfect decision, from her point of view it made sense. I think getting her back in this case is going to be a good decision. But if you do, you have to understand that you’ll always have to be on top of your game and work on maintaining the love and attraction between you two.

4. Some Major Difference in Opinion/ Life Goals

marriage and kidsThen, there can be the case where she wanted something else in life and you wanted something else. Maybe she wanted marriage or kids that you weren’t ready for. She decided that it was more important for her to get married or have kids than be with you.

Chances of Getting Her Back.

Excellent chances. All you have to do is agree to what she wants and she will come back.

Should you Get Her Back?

Absolutely not. Since you want something completely different in your life, you must stick to the decision of breaking up. If you do get her back, you will regret it for the rest of your life. It’s better to go through the pain of breaking up and find someone whose life goals and opinions match with yours.

5. You cheated on her

Scheating_exo, you were out with your friends, you met this cute girl, you started drinking and before you know it, BAM you cheated on your girlfriend. Well, she found out and now you are here, reading this long ass article about how to get your ex girlfriend back; hoping there will be something for a cheating sleaze ball like you(no offense, I am just using the words she used while breaking up with you).

Chances of Getting Her Back.

You will be glad to hear it, but your chances are pretty good. But only if you clean up your act and never do it again. You just need to give her some time to forgive you. It also depends on how much she was into you. If she was heavily invested in you, she will find a way to forgive you and accept you in her life. However, if it was just a casual relationship and you have been together for a short while, your chances are pretty slim, since she will rather invest her time and energy on someone who didn’t cheat on her.

Should You Get Her Back?

OK, since you cheated on her, you have to ask yourself why you did it. Were you not satisfied with her? Or are you the type of person who always cheats on his girlfriend? Maybe you are not a one women man. Maybe you need to be with different girls for your happiness? Hey, I am not judging. But if you are like this, you are probably better off being in an open relationship or just have multiple casual relationships. You must be honest to yourself about who you are and what you want in life. Only then, you can find a relationship that will keep you happy.

On the other hand, if this was just a onetime occurrence, and you just did it because you were drunk or you were to tempted; then you have to consider the fact that it will extremely tough to build trust with her again. You will have to be completely transparent about everything for a while. If she decides to give it another chance, you will have to be cool with her checking your phone, your emails and your computer for a while. Once she starts to trust you again, you can again have your privacy, but her trust will never be a 100% again. Do you think it’s really worth it? If so, then you should go ahead and try to get her back.

What If You Broke Up With Her?

On the other hand, there are times when you are the one who broke up with your girlfriend and you want her back. However, this time she doesn’t want to get back together. You feel like you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life but you can’t do anything to rectify it.

Chances of Getting Her Back.

In this case, first of all, stop blaming yourself. There is still hope to get your ex girlfriend back. You just need to follow this article. Whatever the reason you broke up for, you have a pretty good chance.

Should You Get Her Back?

If you broke up with her, then chances are, you want to get her back just because you miss her or because you feel lonely. I’ll highly recommend that you stop all contact with her and start working on becoming happy without her. If you get past all this emotional phase of the breakup, and you still want her back, only then you should try to reconcile.

(Note: To read more about what to do if you broke up with your girlfriend, Read: How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If YOU broke up with her?)

Your Life Goals And Accepting The Breakup

After my breakup, there were times where I just felt like the only thing I want in my life is her. Nothing else matters. But that wasn’t really true. In fact, I had a lot of goals in my life at that moment which I was totally ignoring because I was just obsessed about my ex-girlfriend. Now, I know you really want her back in your life. And that’s cool. But you also need to understand that your life is more than this relationship.

What do you want to accomplish in your life. If you said “Get my ex-girlfriend back”, then consider this. Is the purpose of your life really just this much? Don’t you think your life needs to bigger, better, more meaningful than this?

You must start imagining a future without your ex in it. You must accept that there is a chance that you will never get her back. Do you still see yourself happy? Do you still lead a happy and meaningful life? Your life should not revolve around your ex. You must find your goals and work on achieving them. It could be small or big, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s meaningful to you and it makes you want to get up in the morning.

You also need to develop a mentality that there is an abundance of love and happiness out there. Your happiness and your love does not start and end with your ex. Even if things don’t work out with her, there will still be many opportunities for love and happiness in your life. You just need to be open to accepting them. Until you keep on obsessing over your ex, those opportunities will never come to you. But if you decide to open yourself to everything this world has to offer, you will receive love and happiness and everything else that you ever wanted.

embrace life

Be open to the opportunities around you. Say YES to life.

Once you have developed this attitude, you are ready to move on to Step 4.

Step 4 – Contact Her Again

After you’ve finished the no-contact period, it’s time for you to start contact with her again. There are many ways to do this, but in my experience, the best way to do it is by using a hand written letter followed by text messages.

Why a hand written letter?

I know it might sound a little strange, but it does stand out.

I know it might sound a little strange, but it does stand out.

Simply because it stands out in this world of digital communication. Also, it gives a little personal touch to your message. However, instead of a hand written letter, you can use an email or a simple text message. But, it’s best to use text messages after sending an initial letter or email.

What do you write in the letter?

The letter needs to be short explaining how you have accepted the breakup and you also think that it’s for the best. It can be followed by a little something extra to get her curious.

There are four things you need to mention in the letter.

1. Agree with the breakup.

2. Tell her that you both need some space right now.

3. If you are doing something new or something exciting in your life, tell her about it.

4. Apologize for your creepy or inappropriate behavior that might have happened after the breakup.

Here is a sample letter.

Hey Jude,

I just wanted to let you know that I am finally at peace with the breakup. Come to think about it, I saw it coming.

Also, I think I should apologize for the way I acted after the breakup. It was inappropriate and disrespectful.

Oh and BTW, I wanted to tell you that something exciting happened to me recently. I’d love to talk to you about it, but now is not the right time. We both need some time and space right now.


After the letter, chances are your ex will contact you and maybe even want to meet you. If she does, it’s great. You can go on to the next step and take it from there. If not, it’s time to start rebuilding attraction using text messages.

Now, these text messages don’t work unless you have completely stopped texting her prior to this. You have to use these text messages as something exciting. Don’t use the text messages for anything other than rebuilding attraction. That means no arguing over text messages, no boring talk, and no meaningless messages. You want her to associate text messages from you as something exciting, something fun and something positive. You want her to start craving a text message from you when she is feeling down. Any negative conversation via text messages is going to serve you against that purpose.

The key to using text messages is to start slowly and move on to more intimate stuff.

A good way to start is to use something that you enjoyed together. Music, movies, books etc. And send them a text saying that you just saw/heard it and it reminded you of her.TEXT1


Now, you have to keep the conversation short, so make sure when whatever she answers, you tell her that you have something to do. Like a movie or dinner with someone.gotta go meet my friends for lunch

If you get a negative response, like “DON’T TEXT ME AGAIN”. Then just reply with a simple “Sorry. Hope you are doing well.” And don’t contact her. At least for a few weeks. This means there is still anger and negative association towards you. Contacting her more is going to hurt your chances. So it’s better to lay off for a while.hope youa re doing well

Keep your texts creative and don’t use the same thing again. Give her something to bite on. You can use some good memory that you had together in the texts too.

Something likewent river rafting wtih ex girlfriend

Remember, to keep the conversation always positive. You can flirt, and even compliment her, but never show that you need her in your life. It’s OK to say things like

“I am glad you were a part of my life.”

“You are an amazing girl.”

“You looked really beautiful that day.”

But not things like

“I wish we could give it another chance.”

“Sometimes, I feel like you are the only one for me.”

“I really want to be with you.”

Get the idea? If you want a more detailed explanation on how to build attraction with text messages, check out this program from my friend Mike. He will tell you exactly what to say to your ex to make her fall in love with you again.

Asking Her Out

wantvsneedThe best way to ask your ex out is by calling her and asking her if she’d like to hang out with you. Make sure you are in an upbeat and positive mood while you call her. While calling her, remember you WANT her, you DON’T NEED her. If you sound needy on the phone, you will definitely be rejected.

What to say?

Make sure you don’t mention the word “date”. Unless she has already brought up the topic of you getting back together, you should not rush it. Have patience and go out with her as a friend. Have fun with her and build up attraction. Slowly, she will suggest reconciliation on her own.

A good way to ask her is “if you wants to catch up.” Or “if you want to hang out tomorrow.” Choose a venue which is casual and which gives both of you an opportunity to leave easily.

A coffee is pretty good place. You can have fun and if you want to escalate things from there, you can go to a bar after that. If you decide to keep the date short, you can leave after the coffee.

coffee with ex

Coffee. Helping people get back together since the 14th century.

A few alternatives are shopping, dancing (if you are into it), a football game (if she is into it), a theme park, mini golf etc.

It’s good to have something to do during the meetup. This will help her become comfortable with you and you can have fun as well.

What if she says no?

If she does, you can try to push her gently. But don’t overdo it. A simple “come on, what’s the harm. It’ll be fun.” Is good. However, “I really want us to do this. Can’t you just do this for me? Please?” is a little too much and desperate. Remember, your old relationship is dead. You should treat her like a girl you are trying to seduce. Not your ex who was once in love with you. She is single now and she doesn’t owe you anything. She might require a little push here and there, but always be gentle and respectful.

If she still says no, then accept it gracefully and hang up. Wait a few weeks and then try again. If she always says no, then I guess it’s never going to happen. Just accept it and try to move on.

During The Date

Remember, you want to keep this date fun and light. No talk about relationship, no talk about the breakup, and no talk about your feelings. You want to come off as a guy who is having a great time with his life. Not someone who is miserable without his ex. You want her to think that being with you is fun. You should be confident, attractive, happy and mature.

If she brings up the relationship, just tell her that it’s all in the past and you don’t want to talk about it. You want to build positive association with her and any talk about the past relationship and breakup is going to build up negativity. She is going to analyze you when she goes back. Do you want her to remember all the negative things that happened in the past, or do you want her to remember the amazingly positive and confident person you are right now?

Using Kino

touch your ex girlfriend

A little touch goes a long way.

You might also want to learn a few things about attraction and seduction before going on this date. For example, there is a thing called kino. It’s simply means building attraction by touch. You want to gently touch her at any opportunity you have. Now, don’t be a creep and keep touching her without any reason. Just simple touches like, a slight touch on her lower back if you want to lead her outside the door. Or a touch on her shoulder while laughing. Or accidentally touching her hand while moving your hand away from the table. These simple touches build attraction and if used correctly, it can be used to escalate attraction level with her during the time.

When to Pop the Question?

Nask ex girlfriendo, you are not going to ask her to marry you. You want to ask her if she wants to give it another chance. Now what you really want is for her to ask this. Since, you two were together at one point, she is not going to feel uncomfortable asking you to be with her. However, she might just be shy and confused about your feelings so in many cases, you will have to make the first move.

A good time to ask her will be after you’ve had a few fun dates with her. I’d say at least two or three. However, if one of your dates leads to sex, then you can go ahead and ask her the next day.

Use your judgment to determine where she is at, and whether or not she is attracted to you enough to pop the question. Hopefully, she will say yes and you will have your ex girlfriend back in your life.

That’s it folks, hope it was helpful. If it was, please help me back by +1 this article. Just scroll down and click on the google + icon.

Also, make sure to subscribe to Step 5 which is an email series. It has helped thousands of men get through the breakup and get their girlfriend back.

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7 Ways to Boost Your Ego after a Breakup

low self esteemIf you have just been dumped it’s quite possible that your ego as taken a big hit. You feel rejected, and you feel alone. But in reality, rejection is just a myth. No-one can reject you if you don’t allow them. If the actions of your ex can make you feel rejected, then you probably need a little ego boost.

First of all, remember rejection is not real. Someone left you and you both decided to live separately. But rejection is just in your head. It’s just your way of seeing things. For example, if you really believe yourself to be smart and someone came along and called you “Stupid”, you will not be affected by that. You will not feel rejected by that person. In fact, you will just brush it off as his perspective and wouldn’t be bothered by it at all. On the other hand, if you don’t have confidence about your body and someone came along and called you “ugly” it’s going to affect you a lot. You are going to think about what that person said. You won’t be able to just brush it off as his perspective. Even though this case is the same as the one before (where someone called you stupid). Why the difference?love yourself

When you feel rejected by someone, you are just letting someone else’s perspective define you. That is not healthy at all. Especially during and after a breakup, your ex might say a lot of mean things to hurt you. Sometimes they say mean things to justify their leaving you. Sometimes they say mean things as a defense mechanism. And maybe sometimes they actually mean it.

But whatever the case, it’s their perspective. I know it’s hard to just ignore a person’s perspective that you have been in a relationship with for a long time. But understand that if you let his/her perspective affect your self-esteem, you are setting yourself up for a miserable life ahead.

A good way to counter this negative self-esteem attack is to do something to boost your ego. It might just be a temporary ego boost, but it will help you in the recovery from breakup.

1. Go for a new adventure. Something you’ve never done before. Like kayaking. Or sky diving. Or snow-boarding.

2. Try speed dating. Not only it will be a new experience, it will also help you realize there are a lot of people out there looking for someone exactly like you.

3. Go traveling. Pack your bags and go to a place you always wanted to visit. It gives you an ego boost and helps you raise your overall self-esteem.

4. Do some volunteer work. Helping other people will definitely make you feel better about yourself.

5. Spend some time with animals. Get a new pet. And if you can’t make a commitment, you can volunteer to take care of your neighbors pet or volunteer at an animal shelter.

6. Go to the gym. Start working out. Take a Zumba class or Yoga or Pilates. Get in shape and start loving your body. When you catch others admiring your body, you cannot stop yourself from feeling better.

7. Change your look. Get a new hair style. Change your hair color. Get a new wardrobe. Do something new to yourself. It will give you a sense of novelty, which goes along with the new life that you are about to begin.



If your ex cheated on you and you are trying to get over the breakup and move on, you might find some additional roadblocks along the way of healing.

1. Why Me?

blaming yourself

Stop blaming yourself.

Blaming yourself for their cheating is one of the most common responses amongst women. Thinking about why your ex cheated on you, or whether or not you deserve a faithful partner is not going to help you get over the breakup.

However, these thoughts still do pop up in the mind every now and then. Questioning your self-worth, questioning the way you love, questioning your body image, are just a normal part of these irrational thoughts.

But the truth is, because you are hurt by the breakup, your mind is just not thinking logically. The fact that your ex cheated on you is entirely his fault. Even if your relationship was going through the worst phase in the history of bad relationship, still your ex didn’t have the right to cheat on you.

Cheating on your partner has absolutely no justification. If your ex’s justification is that they stopped loving you, they could’ve broken up.

2. The image of opposite sex

men are dogs

All men are dogs. Except this one. This is a man-dog.

Another normal reaction is to just blame it on the nature of the opposite sex. All men are cheaters or girls are sluts, is a common reaction after you’ve been cheated on.

Instead of accepting the fact that YOU CHOSE someone who is not faithful, it’s easier to accept that all the men out there are lying bastards.

The fact is there are faithful people in the world and there are cheaters. You just happened to choose a cheater. But it doesn’t mean it’s your fault. You can never truly know someone until you spend time with them. And if they cheat on you that just means you chose the wrong person. Move on and find someone else.

Whatever you do, don’t let this incident turn you into an insecure person with trust issues. You don’t want your next relationship to fail because you always blamed “ALL THE MEN” for the hurt one man gave you.

3. The Missing Phase and Hope of Getting Back Together

It’s completely natural to miss your ex after a breakup and get thoughts about giving them a second chance and getting back together. But when your ex cheated on you, this phase has an extra twist.

See because your ex cheated on you, you might think that’s the only reason why you two broke up. And if somehow you can be sure that your ex will be faithful to you in the future, you can get back together, live happily, get married, buy a house, have children, and grow old and all that dreamy stuff.

And it feels good to dream, because it will be just easier to be with them and make them faithful instead of finding love in that big scary world outside.

Let me just stop you over there and tell you that it’s not going to be so. Getting back together with your ex is a bad idea, and in this situation, even more so. For 2 very solid reason.

Your ex is not going to change. Even if you think it was a onetime mistake and everyone makes mistake and you should give them a chance, the truth is your ex made a decision when they cheated on you. They either chose the act of infidelity over your relationship, or they chose hiding this fact from you over an honest relationship. Either ways, their choices clearly indicate they don’t deserve another chance.

The second reason is that it’s going to be extremely hard for you to trust this person again. In reality, you never forget this kind of things. Even if you do get back together, it will always be in the back of your mind that your ex cheated on you and they might do it again. No matter how much open and honest they’ll be, no matter how much transparent they are about their lives, you will never be able to fully trust them again. You already broke up with them, there is a chance to be in a relationship where you can completely trust your partner, then why choose to be with someone you can never trust?

And don’t forget that these thoughts about reconciliation only occur during the grief period of getting over the breakup. It will not last long. Even if you think you should give your ex another chance, at least wait till you are completely over the breakup, that way you will know you are not making major life decision just because you are emotional.



Forgiving an Ex – Should You Do It?

sorry, please forgive meYour ex left you. They hurt you. They let you think that you will be with them for a long time and then shattered all your dreams. They told you they loved you and then dumped you like you didn’t even matter to them. They told you that you meant the world to them and then suddenly they wanted you to be “just friends”. They told you they’d be faithful and then they turned around and cheated on you without even thinking about how much it will be hurtful.

And after all that, you are supposed to move on. You are supposed to mend your heart without any help from your ex. You are left alone with all these hurt and you are supposed to deal with it. And on top of all that, people tell you that you should forgive your ex.

“Really? Forgive my ex? Are you kidding me? Why should I forgive my ex? My ex is the worst person I know. I don’t want to forgive my ex; I just want to move on.”

That’s what you say. That’s what anyone would say. After all, the amount of pain you have to deal with isn’t easy. It’s hard enough as it is, and you are expected to be a saint and forgive them.

Forgiving your ex is a hard concept to grasp for most people after a breakup. And it’s completely justified if you think of forgiveness as something that would help your ex clear his or her conscience.

But forgiveness is not about your ex. Forgiveness is about you. Forgiveness is about you letting go of the resentment and anger that you might have for your ex. There are many reasons to forgive your ex. Here are a few of them.

  1. When you forgive someone, you are healing yourself. The act of truly forgiving is an extremely restorative experience. When you are forgiving someone, you are moving one step closer (or maybe taking the final step) to moving on.
  2. When you forgive, you are not really going to call your ex and tell them you forgive them. Forgiveness is not about making your ex feel better. It’s about making you feel better. When you forgive them truly from your heart, you will not have the urge to call them or even contact them anymore. When you forgive, you will be able to close this chapter of your life and begin a new one.
  3. The fact that you loved your ex once is a good reason to encourage forgiveness. Remember that you loved your ex once. If they had done something wrong to you, you would have considered forgiving them. So why not now? Forgiving them now makes even more sense.
  4. If you don’t forgive someone as important as your ex, you are only building up resentment and anger inside of yourself. Studies have shown that anger and resentment is detrimental to your health. If not for anything else, forgive your ex for your health and well-being.
  5. If you have children, then anger and resentment towards your ex will affect the well-being of your children. If you don’t forgive your ex, you are going to have conflicts and arguments with them. And it will have a negative impact on your children.

Remember, if you concentrate on taking revenge instead of improving your own life, you are just letting your feelings of resentment; anger and blame take over you. It’s like you are digging a pit for your ex but eventually you will find yourself at the bottom of it.

Forgiveness isn’t something that you can force. It will come naturally. You just have to work on getting over the breakup and don’t resist forgiveness.


Thinking of getting back together?

Think about it for a second?

Is it a really a good idea?

Try to think of some reasons that you shouldn’t? Can’t think of anything? How about these?

1. You can find someone better.

someone betterYou can find someone much better than your ex. Your ex and you broke up, without blaming anyone, the simple fact is that you two were not compatible. Instead of trying to get back with someone you are not compatible with; why not find someone who you are compatible with? If you really think your ex is the one, then you are dead wrong. If they were “the one” they should’ve also felt the same way. And if they would’ve felt the same way, then you two would’ve worked things out. But you didn’t work things out and they don’t think you are the one. And that just means that your ex was not the one.

2. You are emotional


Look at yourself. Do you really think you are in a position to make a life altering decision?

It’s a known fact that bargaining is one of the stages of grief. Trying to convince your ex to get back might just be an emotional state where your mind is trying to convince you that they might be the one you. In reality, your mind can’t cope up with the loss and is coming up with all the stupid reasons to convince you that you two get back together. If you are in a stage where you think getting back together is better than being alone, then you can rest assured this is the bargaining stage of grief. Once you have moved on, you will be glad you stuck to being separated.

3. You are alone

alone and sad

If being alone makes you sad. You should not get back together with your ex.

Do you really think you are better off being in a miserable relationship than being alone? If you answered yes, you are in need of some serious counseling. But if you answered no, then you are probably just not looking at your past relationship with the right perspective. You might try to convince yourself that your relationship wasn’t that bad. But that’s just selective thinking. After breaking up, it’s quite common to block out the negative experiences and just concentrate on the positive experiences you had with your ex (or vice versa). If you are in this stage, you might be trying to convince yourself that the relationship was better than being along. But in reality, it’s totally not. It might be better than being in pain and hurt that you might feel after the breakup. But that pain and hurt does not last long. It goes away and when it does, you will find that being alone is a lot better than being in a bad relationship.

4. You are scared to go out there


It’s a scary world out there. But it’s not as bad as you make it out in your mind.

If you think that there is no one out there for you, then you are dead wrong. Whatever crappy reasons you are giving yourself to justify this asinine notion, is just plain wrong. No matter your age, your weight, your height, your financial status, your mental health, your bad habits, your insecurities, your skeletons in the closet, your not so desirable traits and everything else, you can and will find someone who is perfect for you. Trust me, this world is more connected than ever, and it’s full of all kinds of people. You can never comprehend this fact unless you go out there and try to meet new people. And you can never go out and try to meet new people if you keep holding on to the notion of getting back together with your ex.

5. You broke up

Seriously, isn’t that reason enough for you? If you are trying to get back together, you are not trying to accept the breakup. There is a possibility if you try all the tricks and gimmicks out there and get back together. But in the end, you will end up with the same person with the same relationship. And that same relationship will end in the same breakup again. Do you really want that? Wouldn’t it be better to just accept the breakup? Just accept that you two are not compatible with each other? Everyone goes through the pain after the breakup. Instead of trying to run away from the pain, or deny it; just accept the facts and try to get over the breakup. Learn from the failed relationship and try to build a better one next time.

If even after all this, you are absolutely sure you want to get back together. Then go ahead and do so.

How to get your ex girlfriend back.