Your ex left you. They hurt you. They let you think that you will be with them for a long time and then shattered all your dreams. They told you they loved you and then dumped you like you didn’t even matter to them. They told you that you meant the world to them and then suddenly they wanted you to be “just friends”. They told you they’d be faithful and then they turned around and cheated on you without even thinking about how much it will be hurtful.
And after all that, you are supposed to move on. You are supposed to mend your heart without any help from your ex. You are left alone with all these hurt and you are supposed to deal with it. And on top of all that, people tell you that you should forgive your ex.
“Really? Forgive my ex? Are you kidding me? Why should I forgive my ex? My ex is the worst person I know. I don’t want to forgive my ex; I just want to move on.”
That’s what you say. That’s what anyone would say. After all, the amount of pain you have to deal with isn’t easy. It’s hard enough as it is, and you are expected to be a saint and forgive them.
Forgiving your ex is a hard concept to grasp for most people after a breakup. And it’s completely justified if you think of forgiveness as something that would help your ex clear his or her conscience.
But forgiveness is not about your ex. Forgiveness is about you. Forgiveness is about you letting go of the resentment and anger that you might have for your ex. There are many reasons to forgive your ex. Here are a few of them.
- When you forgive someone, you are healing yourself. The act of truly forgiving is an extremely restorative experience. When you are forgiving someone, you are moving one step closer (or maybe taking the final step) to moving on.
- When you forgive, you are not really going to call your ex and tell them you forgive them. Forgiveness is not about making your ex feel better. It’s about making you feel better. When you forgive them truly from your heart, you will not have the urge to call them or even contact them anymore. When you forgive, you will be able to close this chapter of your life and begin a new one.
- The fact that you loved your ex once is a good reason to encourage forgiveness. Remember that you loved your ex once. If they had done something wrong to you, you would have considered forgiving them. So why not now? Forgiving them now makes even more sense.
- If you don’t forgive someone as important as your ex, you are only building up resentment and anger inside of yourself. Studies have shown that anger and resentment is detrimental to your health. If not for anything else, forgive your ex for your health and well-being.
- If you have children, then anger and resentment towards your ex will affect the well-being of your children. If you don’t forgive your ex, you are going to have conflicts and arguments with them. And it will have a negative impact on your children.
Remember, if you concentrate on taking revenge instead of improving your own life, you are just letting your feelings of resentment; anger and blame take over you. It’s like you are digging a pit for your ex but eventually you will find yourself at the bottom of it.
Forgiveness isn’t something that you can force. It will come naturally. You just have to work on getting over the breakup and don’t resist forgiveness.