It happened. And it hurts. It hurts like crazy. And it seems like there is nothing you can do about it. They say “Time heals everything” but sometimes, things seem to just get worse with time.
Maybe with each passing moment, you realize how much you love your ex more.
Maybe you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper in misery.
Maybe you can’t imagine yourself ever dating again or finding true happiness in your life.
Maybe you are already dating but can’t get your ex out of your mind.
Whatever, your situation is, the fact that you are reading this means that you have decided to do something about it. You have decided to get over your breakup and mend your broken heart. And that decision is going to change your life.
My name is KT, and I am here to help you in your decision to get from this point in life to the point where you will be completely over your ex and will be ready for all the happiness this world has to offer.
You broke up because of a reason. You broke up because your relationship was broken. And even though you might feel completely devastated right now, you are going to get better. In fact, these dark times might just be the best opportunity for you to grow and be better than you’ve ever been.
It’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it. No matter your age, your situation, your level of obsession with your ex, or your level of obsession with your past relationship, this will work for you.
The first step starts with realizing why it’s not the worst thing that has ever happened to you. You might think that you are in a dark place right now, but it’s just one perspective, if you look at things another way, you will see that it’s just not as bad.
You need to understand that this is a great time for you to be with yourself and give yourself time to grow. When you are in a relationship, you are accountable and dependent on each other (codependent or interdependent? We will find out later). And no matter how much you understood each other, you didn’t have the independence that you have now.
So for the first time in a long time, you are free to do whatever you want.
Yes, you can go to the bar and flirt with other people.
Yes, you can sleep at any time you want or wake up at any time you want.
Yes, you can watch whatever movie you want.
Yes, you can stay out as late as you want.
Yes, you can travel anywhere you want in the world, without having to worry about your SO.
You, my friend are completely free.
If you are saying something like
[quote]But I don’t want independence; I want to be with my ex again[/quote]
[quote]“I like the idea of all this, but I am so devastated I can hardly see myself enjoying any of those things.”[/quote]
[quote]“I don’t want to do all that in my life; I want to be in a relationship.”[/quote]
Then I understand what you feel. Believe me, I have been there. Just give it some time and go through this program. You will soon realize that this freedom is a great thing.
Let’s face it, if your relationship ended, it means it wasn’t working. Even if you thought it was working and your ex suddenly called it off, it means that they didn’t want to be with you, which again means that your relationship was broken.
Are you saying things like?
[quote]“I am not glad it’s over. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. And now it’s over. I can’t figure out why my ex doesn’t want to be with me.”[/quote]
[quote]“If only we could make it work. We tried, but all in vain.”[/quote]
[quote]“I want to make it work. But my ex doesn’t even want to try. If only I could convince them.”[/quote]
There are two possibilities.
1. One of you wanted to make it work, and the other one didn’t.
Do you know what it’s like to be in a relationship where the other person doesn’t want to be with you?
There is a very good chance that it slowly turns into a toxic relationship. And then
You constantly feel insecure.
They start criticizing you and berating you constantly.
Your self-esteem is tremendously hurt
Every other aspect of your life (career, family, friends, and health) slowly starts to suffer just because you are in a toxic relationship.
So even if your ex broke it off all of a sudden, you should know that you have just avoided something much worse than a breakup. You’ve avoided a toxic relationship.
Isn’t that something to be glad about?
2. You both tried to make it work for a long time.
On the other hand, if you were in an unhappy relationship for a long time, and now that it’s finally over then deep inside you already know that it is for the greater good. No matter how much time you spent in the unhappy relationship, you’ve learned a great deal about life and now you are ready to move forward in life. Whatever good times and bad times you had, just take it as it is and learn how to move on.
In either case, you have a great opportunity right now to find the person who truly deserves you and create a relationship that you deserve. And that’s something to be glad about, which brings us to the third point
No matter how much time you spent in your past relationship, you can still find someone in your life. It doesn’t matter what your age is, or what your situation is. You can and will find the person you deserve. And it will be all worth it. Everything that happened in your life till now (your past relationship, the hurt you are going through, all the bad relationships till now, getting over your breakup) is going to lead you to rediscovering yourself and being truly happy. And then you will find someone who truly appreciates you for who you are.
Remember, I said you will find happiness and then find someone great. Possibly “the one”. You will not find someone and then happiness. If you are looking to find a person who will give you happiness, you are going to be disappointed.
If you jump into a relationship to get away from the pain you are feeling (or from anything else), chances are that relationship is also going to end up miserably. It’s absolutely fine to start dating any time you like. But I won’t recommend getting into a serious relationship until you are completely over your breakup.
So, get yourself together, realize that it’s an opportunity. Get ready to turn this lemon into lemonade and go on to step 2.