Sometimes, a short term relationship is much harder to get over than expected. In many cases, people are not over a relationship even one year after a relationship that only lasted 6 months. It does seem strange, but it’s completely normal. The truth is, the length of the relationship does not matter as much as how you choose to handle the breakup and work through the grief.
The biggest reason that it takes so long to move on after such a relationship is expectations. When you meet someone after long time who completely swipes you off your feet, it’s hard to not build up expectations in your mind.
You find yourself imagining a future with this person. You feel confident that this is the one for you and there is nothing that can stop you from finally having the relationship you always wanted. You imagine being together forever, getting married and spending the rest of your life with the person that you love so much.
But then all of a sudden, the relationship ends. Shock, denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and everything that comes with the breakup.
The shock phase usually lasts a long time in this type of breakups. But you still go through the rest of the phases.
Questions keep coming to your mind. After all, you were absolutely certain that this was the one. You don’t even want to try finding someone else anymore because you were convinced you found your dream partner.
In many of such cases, people feel rejected after this type of breakup. When you have been in a relationship for a long time, you can blame the dynamics of the relationship, or the incompatibility of you and your ex. But in a short relationship that was near perfect, it’s hard to find a reason for the breakup. And you end up blaming yourself for being the reason.
It’s just your mind’s way of handling loss. You have to blame something. You have to know who is at fault. Unless you find out who is to blame, your brain won’t rest.
If this is happening to you, I can guarantee you that you weren’t responsible for the breakup. If you think your relationship was perfect, then chances are it was pretty good. And your ex thought the same.
So why the breakup?
Well, there could be a lot of reason. Maybe your ex was emotionally unavailable. Maybe they were going through some tough time in their life. Maybe they were afraid of commitment.
Whatever it was, it was their problem and their decision. Do not blame yourself for it and do not hurt your self-esteem for this. Your expectations weren’t met, it’s OK. There is a good chance they are not going to be met even if you convince your ex to reconcile. It’s because just like every other case of breakup, this relationship was also broken. The only difference is that it looked perfect on the outside. (Need help moving on? Read my 5 Steps Plan To Recover Fast From a Breakup.)
So how do you get over it?
If you are having trouble getting over a short relationship, understand that the relationship had an effect on you and it is going to take some time and work to do it. The process of moving on should be the same. Just because it was a short term relationship doesn’t necessarily mean it will become easier.
Understand that you are not going to get closure by contacting your ex. Closure will only come from inside once you’ve accepted the loss. Understand that you will have to take care of yourself and go through the grief process. Understand that it will take some time but it will be worth it in the end. Understand that even though you might feel like you’ve lost someone great, there is someone much better out there for you. However, if nothing else works, you can try to get your ex girlfriend back.
In short, if the short term breakup is harder for you than you imagined, accept it. Don’t try to deny the fact and don’t try to find a shortcut to recovery.