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Sex With Ex – Should You Do It?

sex with an exThere is no denying it that sex with an ex easy. After all, you know each other, you know what they like in bed, they know what you like in bed, you can be comfortable with them in bed and you don’t have to be conscious about anything. So why not do it? Besides, maybe you always wanted a relationship with no strings attached. The idea of being friends with benefits is exciting, but it doesn’t come without repercussions.

I am sure that even before you started reading this article, you know the answer to this question.

Should you have sex with your ex?

No. Plain and simple. But you just can’t seem to point out why. If you can go back in time to right after you broke up, when you were hurt and in pain, would you still want to sleep with them?

What has changed now?

confusedThe fact is, your mind is still clouded with emotions. The only difference is that you are experiencing different emotions than before. After a breakup, you go different stages of emotions. Initially, you might feel shock, anger, resentment, sorrow, and all the other stuff that makes you feel pity for yourself. After you are through that stage, you start missing your ex; you even have thoughts about getting back together (if you are absolutely sure, read this article on getting your ex girlfriend back). Add that to the fact that you haven’t been laid in a while, you start imagining sleeping with your ex. And if your ex is feeling the same things, then it just reinforces your justifications.

So why not do it?

If you have sex with an ex, you are going to end up hurting yourself or them. The feelings are bound to come back. The act maybe enjoyable but what follows will be nothing short of an emotional catastrophe. You will be confused, emotional, hopes, fears, promises and have many issues from the past.

If you think you are completely over your ex and you will not feel any emotions, then you are just kidding yourself. If you are really over your ex, then why not go out there and find someone ne

Another reason to not do it, is to think about what message this will send to your ex. You are just telling them that you are still dependent on them. You are telling them that they are your only option. You are telling them that you can’t go out there and find someone for yourself.

But the biggest reason to not do it is that by having sex with your ex, you are moving a step backwards. The whole point of a breakup is to MOVE ON with your life. Not move backwards.

How to Stop It?

Just don’t do it. In fact, don’t contact your ex at all. If they contact you, don’t answer. You are not liable to answer your phone calls every time someone calls you. If you are in a situation where you have to be in contact with your ex and they propose sex, have a little self-control and say no. Saying no to your ex will only empower you.

If you haven’t already, it’s time to go no-contact. Work on building your life without your ex. Sleeping with your ex simply means that you are still depending on them for something. And if you want to have a satisfying and happy relationship with someone in the future, you will have to remove your ex from your mind and your life completely.

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This is one of the biggest dilemmas after a breakup. Should you unfriend your ex on facebook? The answer is quite simply yes.

If you don’t unfriend your ex from facebook, you are going to end up looking at their profile sooner or later. Their status messages are going to show up on your news feed. And you will be looking at all the pictures they upload. All these things will affect your emotions and your thoughts.

In short, if you don’t unfriend your ex from facebook, your ex still has some control over you. (Note: if you want to get your ex back, you might want to reconsider. If that’s the case. Make sure you read the article on how to get your ex girlfriend back.) [continue reading…]

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It’s OK to feel miserable after a breakup. It’s OK to let emotions take over you once in a while. It’s OK to want to just curl up in bed and cry. Everything you feel during the breakup is OK. But, while your emotions are draining everything from your mind and body, you have to balance it out with some nourishment and relaxation.

Here are 7 things that you can do while going through a breakup.

1. Go to a spa

Pamper yourself. You deserve it.

Pamper yourself. You deserve it.

What better place to relax than a spa? Get a manicure, a pedicure, or a facial. Get a massage while you are at it. Let them take care of your body. It’s hard to feel bad about yourself when you are in a place where everyone is focused on helping you relax. [continue reading…]

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Sometimes, a short term relationship is much harder to get over than expected. In many cases, people are not over a relationship even one year after a relationship that only lasted 6 months. It does seem strange, but it’s completely normal. The truth is, the length of the relationship does not matter as much as how you choose to handle the breakup and work through the grief.

The biggest reason that it takes so long to move on after such a relationship is expectations. When you meet someone after long time who completely swipes you off your feet, it’s hard to not build up expectations in your mind. [continue reading…]

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One of the frustrating challenges after a breakup is trying to stop obsessive thoughts about your ex. Unfortunately, there isn’t a switch in your mind which you can turn off. If there was, no one in this world would be suffering from mental illness.

Obsessive thoughts about your ex are just like any other obsessive thoughts. If you try to suppress them, it will only be helpful for a few minutes. If you try to suppress it for very long, it’s going to build up a lot of negative energy inside and it will come back with great vengeance and furious anger ready to take over your mind. [continue reading…]

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After you’ve made your decision to not contact your ex, you need to stay true to the decision. Unfortunately, everyone has their weak moments and it’s common to give in during them. Here are 5 tips that will help you stay away from your ex and in your sanity.

1. Get Busy

Do something that will keep you busy. It’s easier to not contact your ex when you are busy doing something else. The urge to contact your ex is not going to last long. When the emotions have faded away, ask yourself, do you still want to contact your ex? If you still have the urge, that means you are still emotional. Move on to the next step. [continue reading…]

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How to Get Closure after a Breakup?

When you are asking for closure, what exactly are you expecting? Is it something like this?

I need to know if my ex still loves me. I think if I just know his feelings about me, I will get closure.

My ex was with me for 3 years. She said that she loved me and will always be with me. I have to know what happened that she went from “I Love You” to “I want a divorce”. I asked her this question but it just led to an argument. I need an answer to get closure.

I just want to tell my ex how I feel right now.

I think my ex owes me an explanation

Do you think answering these questions will lead you to closure? [continue reading…]

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