If you have just been dumped it’s quite possible that your ego as taken a big hit. You feel rejected, and you feel alone. But in reality, rejection is just a myth. No-one can reject you if you don’t allow them. If the actions of your ex can make you feel rejected, then you probably need a little ego boost.
First of all, remember rejection is not real. Someone left you and you both decided to live separately. But rejection is just in your head. It’s just your way of seeing things. For example, if you really believe yourself to be smart and someone came along and called you “Stupid”, you will not be affected by that. You will not feel rejected by that person. In fact, you will just brush it off as his perspective and wouldn’t be bothered by it at all. On the other hand, if you don’t have confidence about your body and someone came along and called you “ugly” it’s going to affect you a lot. You are going to think about what that person said. You won’t be able to just brush it off as his perspective. Even though this case is the same as the one before (where someone called you stupid). Why the difference?
When you feel rejected by someone, you are just letting someone else’s perspective define you. That is not healthy at all. Especially during and after a breakup, your ex might say a lot of mean things to hurt you. Sometimes they say mean things to justify their leaving you. Sometimes they say mean things as a defense mechanism. And maybe sometimes they actually mean it.
But whatever the case, it’s their perspective. I know it’s hard to just ignore a person’s perspective that you have been in a relationship with for a long time. But understand that if you let his/her perspective affect your self-esteem, you are setting yourself up for a miserable life ahead.
A good way to counter this negative self-esteem attack is to do something to boost your ego. It might just be a temporary ego boost, but it will help you in the recovery from breakup.
1. Go for a new adventure. Something you’ve never done before. Like kayaking. Or sky diving. Or snow-boarding.
2. Try speed dating. Not only it will be a new experience, it will also help you realize there are a lot of people out there looking for someone exactly like you.
3. Go traveling. Pack your bags and go to a place you always wanted to visit. It gives you an ego boost and helps you raise your overall self-esteem.
4. Do some volunteer work. Helping other people will definitely make you feel better about yourself.
5. Spend some time with animals. Get a new pet. And if you can’t make a commitment, you can volunteer to take care of your neighbors pet or volunteer at an animal shelter.
6. Go to the gym. Start working out. Take a Zumba class or Yoga or Pilates. Get in shape and start loving your body. When you catch others admiring your body, you cannot stop yourself from feeling better.
7. Change your look. Get a new hair style. Change your hair color. Get a new wardrobe. Do something new to yourself. It will give you a sense of novelty, which goes along with the new life that you are about to begin.