This is one of the biggest dilemmas after a breakup. Should you unfriend your ex on facebook? The answer is quite simply yes.
If you don’t unfriend your ex from facebook, you are going to end up looking at their profile sooner or later. Their status messages are going to show up on your news feed. And you will be looking at all the pictures they upload. All these things will affect your emotions and your thoughts.
In short, if you don’t unfriend your ex from facebook, your ex still has some control over you. (Note: if you want to get your ex back, you might want to reconsider. If that’s the case. Make sure you read the article on how to get your ex girlfriend back.)
When you read their status messages, your mind will just be wondering whether there is hidden message for you. Your mind will try to decode everything they put on facebook. And it’s not helping you in getting over the breakup. You are consciously putting road blocks in your path to recovery.
And I am not saying that it’s all your fault if you are trying to look for subliminal messages in everything your ex puts up on facebook. A lot of people use facebook to manipulate and play mind games. It’s extremely common.
I knew a girl who was just sitting on facebook all day; posting pictures and updating statuses trying to make her ex miss her and show him how much wonderful her life is. Behind the computer screen, as I was looking at her, her life pretty miserable. If I were to compare her online life and her real life, the difference was comparable to living on the Hawaiian Islands vs. living in a mental asylum.
And don’t fool yourself into thinking only girls do this, boys are as much messed up when it comes to manipulation using facebook.
If you’ve decided to move on and find happiness in life, then facebook is just impeding your progress. Facebook is just a medium for your ex to have some sort of control over your mind and thoughts. And if you want that, then you don’t really want to move on.
If you think about it, it’s not even recommended that you be friends with your ex in real life. Then why in the world would you want to be friends with them on facebook?
Wait, I could think of some reasons (or excuses) that people give themselves for remaining friends with their ex on facebook. Let’s go over them.
It might be rude to unfriend them.
You guys broke up. Do you really think that it matters whether you are rude to them or not? You both have decided to live your lives separately. You don’t owe each other anything. Not even kindness. And if having your mental peace requires you to be rude to your ex, then so be it.
With facebook we have at least some connection
Why do you need this connection? What is this need to hang on to every last piece of string that is attached to your ex? Until you let go of everything that connects to your ex, you will not be able to move on.
I really hope we can be friends in the future
First of all, you shouldn’t be friends with your ex. But if you are really hoping to be friends, even then removing them from your facebook is not something that should bother them. If your ex is truly someone who is worth being friends in the future (when you have completely moved on) then I am sure they will understand that you had to unfriend them for the sake of your mental health. If something as trivial as “unfriending on the internet” offends your ex so much that they don’t want to be friends, then you are far better off not being friends with this person ever.
I want them to regret breaking up with me by showing you how awesome my life is.
“The best revenge is living well.” But how can they know that I am living well unless I post the pictures of my awesome life on facebook. If that’s on your mind, then I think you misunderstood the phrase. The phrase simply means that you shouldn’t concentrate on revenge, but concentrate on living well. If you are concentrating on showing them your awesome life, you are concentrating on revenge, not on your life.
If you were concentrating on your life, you will understand that having the desire to prove something to your ex is just another way of your mind to keep yourself attached to them. That just means that the desire to show them your awesome life is just another face of the same old desire – to not move on. (Need help moving on? Read my 5 Steps Plan To Recover From a Breakup.)